Running a Company with Your Sister: A Lesson in Leadership

Pilea’s Director of Coach Development, Sandy Taylor, recently shared how she was impacted by an episode of the podcast, Dare to Lead with Brené Brown. The episode featured Charles and Dr. Donald Sull, the father-son duo who founded CultureX. In discussing the familial nature of this particular episode (Brené works with her siblings), Kari and I couldn’t help but reminisce about our own experiences building Pilea together as sisters, and about our shared focus on the humanizing work of supporting startup leaders and founders.

While creating Pilea, Kari and I came to realize that we, being sisters, take for granted the fact that we care a lot about each other as people outside of and beyond our work together. Kim Scott’s Radical Candor framework, a Pilea favorite, asks folks to challenge directly and to care personally; because of our family environment, we are VERY practiced at challenging directly, and caring personally is an area in which Kari and I have never struggled. This level of safety allows us to push ourselves, to make mistakes, and to show up as whole people in the work we do together.  

When you build a company or work together with a loved one, you can’t help but care personally. For us, this means we know that - no matter how big one of us might mess up - we each will always respect the other. We know that the other person wants us to succeed - not just at work, but in every aspect of life! - even if that means logging off early to take personal time or leaving the company when it serves us (or the company) best.

So, when you haven’t known your co-founder or team member since birth, how do you build-in the level of care necessary to feel supported as you fail, learn, and grow? 

The future of work is all about culture. We know from research that “a toxic corporate culture, for example, is 10.4 times more powerful than compensation in predicting a company’s attrition rate compared with its industry.” Similarly, the presence of disrespect drives toxicity. Intuitively, respectful cultures, or those in which people feel seen and are treated like humans, build thriving cultures. 

The simplest way to start building a respectful company culture is to ask your colleagues how they are really doing. Ask your direct reports what their goals and ambitions beyond this role and company are. Get curious about what inspires those with whom you work, and make it okay for them to be their whole selves at work by sharing your whole self.

In the middle of the great resignation, a respectful company culture and positive purpose were the biggest levers a startup could pull to compete with tech giants for talent. This shows that developing a culture of acceptance, caring, and support is not just a nice thing to do for the people in your org (and it certainly is!), but it is also possibly the difference between having a team that helps you reach your goals and a team that falls short. 

In Growth,

Lisa Sulenes and Kari Sulenes

  1. https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/toxic-culture-is-driving-the-great-resignation/

  2. https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/why-every-leader-needs-to-worry-about-toxic-culture/

Lisa Sulenes

Lisa is an integrative health coach and Pilea’s Director of Human Experience. She builds and tracks all of our processes, and is involved in program and service development and deployment. Lisa is passionate about the ways humans interact with their environments and ways that we can change these structures to increase health and wellbeing.

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