Are You a Child-Leader or an Adult-Leader?

Your Self-Care Determines It.

Once we are born, we begin looking to our parents to show us what kind of world we have entered. Some of us learn that we’ve entered into a world of bounty, where our mere being is enough for us to be loved and well-cared for. Others learn that the world is harsh, that people are trying to take from us, and that around every corner is another challenge to survive. Most of us, however, learn that the world is somewhere in-between.

Entrepreneurs often have a unique view of the world, one that draws on various aspects of the above examples. We might have learned: 

“Everything is great as long as you do everything yourself.”

“You’re smarter than others, so you have to do extraordinary things or you’ll be a waste.”

“If you win things, then people will love you.”

Any of these sound familiar? You might wonder, Yeah, but doesn’t everyone think this way? The answer is ‘no’; these beliefs might be shared by others, but they were shaped by your unique upbringing. 

It’s one thing to be a kid and try to win every baseball game (or talent show or lead role, etc.) and get straight As. Surely, adults know that their performance isn’t predictive of how lovable they are, right?!

The answer to this is, again, an unfortunate ‘no.’ Most of us reproduce our childhood experiences in our adult lives. People often notice this in their romantic relationships (“I’ve married my mother!”), but you also might notice that you start to relate to your board chair like you do your father. Or that you’ve set up your org structure so that you have eyes on everything, making you the bottleneck (“Everything is great as long as I do it all myself!”). If you are not conscious of your childhood upbringing, some of its more damaging lessons can follow you into adulthood and begin negatively affecting aspects of your daily life. If you’re a leader, it can also harmfully dictate the way you organize and treat others. 

Choosing to remain unaware of your childhood patterns means that they are showing up in your business. If you are aware, then you are likely to slide back into your child-leader self when you’re stressed, threatened, or not paying attention. 

So, do the work. Become aware and stay aware so you may act as an adult-leader. Not sure where to start? Book some time with our concierge.